My meaning of SHIT or S***

Ok, so I'm not quite doing the PUSH book in 30 days... my life is all about being flexible. Those that know me will probably laugh when they read this because I am hardly not the model of flexibility. I guess God's gift of my crazy little 3 year old twins has made the Hubs and I very flexible. Remember the good ole "wants and needs". I really want to sleep 4 hours straight but my kid needs me. I really want to read a book before bed but the dishes, laundry, my day job all need me. You get where I'm going with this. Some days after a long day of one kid going one way, another kid going another way, the dog doing whatever insanity he's up to, the demands of work and not to mention getting food on the table, I just want to collapse into my bed and think of that 80's commercial for adult bubble bath thinking "Calgon take me away". Don't get me wrong my babes and my Hubs have only enriched my life in ways I never dreamed possible. Until I figure out a way to get cloned, I will, like most of you do, battle the balance and exhaustion game.

That said, I am still driving on allowing me to come first for slivers of time throughout the day. I think my biggest challenge will always be keeping a routine and letting go of s***. Let me tell you that "s***" means many things to many people. In my life it means: getting off the couch, taking a break from work, turning off the tv, getting dressed, and getting moving. I get so stuck some days where I find myself 6 hours later in the same spot on the couch, the DVR playing non-sense and in my pajamas with an achy back and exhausted as all get out. Not tired because my body deserves to be tired from having some physical activity but more from the lack of movement. I also find it s***ty that I sometimes forget to eat. All of this adds to the stress. Stress plus exhaustion = A PERFECT STORM.

So then I find myself looking for s*** to consume. Since I've already talked myself into being soooo busy with work, I will hit up the pantry first for something quick. Sometimes it's the ritz crackers, it's yogurt covered raisins. Not horrible but NOT good either. At this time I'm typically thinking "Thank goodness I had Hubs hide the emergency chocolate in the barn" else it'd be GAME OVER. 

My BFF came up with a fantastic idea. She sent me a list of proteins and veggies and said grab this stuff and come over on Sunday. Don't forget ziploc baggies and foil pans. It was the most amazing 4 hours of my life where we cooked and put together something like 10 meals for the next couple of weeks. I WAS IN LOVE with this idea. As her mama and I chopped and chopped and chopped she did all the stove stuff. Stuffed Peppers, Veggie and Meat Lasagna, Sausage and Peppers, Meatloaves, Chili Beans, Turkey Chili, and on and on. It's been bliss. So while I really really really hate cooking for dinner (you're saying, "right, that's because you're tired of sitting on your ass all day?") I have loved a couple of things about this. 1. It's super friggin simple for me to pull out a meal for dinner that night and 2. Leftover make it FOOL FRIGGIN PROOF to have a great lunch. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

Yeah, so if you're read parts of this blog you'll see where I worked out to T25. It was an amazing experience but seriously, I sit here and wonder how the HELL I did that. Where did this discipline come from? Where has it gone? It is seriously like looking at a former self. I know I need to work out. I mean, I hate feeling like a fat ass, I hate it how I look at my side profile and feel like my tummy is in line with my breasts, I hate feeling like a just ate a whole chicken (bloated), and all of that nasty stuff. I hate it all. I also know that when I look back at those days I was happy because of the amazeballs endorphins that Shaun T was helping me to release. I've come to terms with while I don't have to go balls out every day for the rest of my life, that I do need to keep my booty moving. One of the things I'm doing around my property is getting active. It's become my self imposed job to fill up the green waste every other week. Living on 2.5 acres it's really easy to find green waste to pile into the green waste can. Other days we hike down to our drought ridden stream or collect sticks for the burn pile.  I love that the twins sometimes want to help or jump into the leaf pile I'm working on moving in the can. I love that they see me in action. Right, so even if I'm a chubster they'll think back around the times we did other stuff than just sit on the couch and rot. I love setting that example for them.

Ok, so that's where I'm at. Nothing is perfect but every day I am most thankful and grateful for this life that God has enabled me to have. I am so lucky to be loved by an amazing man and that my twins think the sun rises and sets on our family. 

I'll keep you posted on this crazy journey!! Oh and so you know, I'm not going crazy. I know this post was supposed to be about PUSH 30 but then I got all wrapped up. My next one post will be about PUSH day 16. 

XOXO